gotta run an errand for my mum at chinatown, so headed that way. chinatown used to mean differently to me until you came into my life. went to meet na and loy for lunch during their lunch break, so i got to take the exit that i seldom or rarely take, the very same exit stairs that you sat down and waited for me to come, with flowers that you are not happy with because of how they packaged it. but still, it's the first time you gave me real flowers. but still, i told you i was okay with it, cause it's the thoughts that count. with the little flashback when i made my way exiting the station, to find na & loy for lunch. i'm back doing things that i once was before you came into my life, or at least doing what i would do before i lost myself. In this battle for my own self, i guess i finally found who i am, and got a better grip of it than what i had once. so what if people don't like me? i ain't born to please everyone, cause i am who i am. everyone's bound to have enemies, so why bother to please everyone? the one that pretends to be your friend in front of you and behind your back stabbing you, that's your enemy, you just got to know who is it.
back to lunch, mountain tortoise me had yet to step into chinatown point or what i love to call the doraemon building after their renovation. and first time i'm having lunch (that's my only cheat day for 3 weeks). anyway, great catch up and having them trying to persuade me to buy a travel package from them. -.- you guys give me the money to travel okay? and don't send me to weird weird places la! but the funny thing about friendship is that when everyone is schooling, nobody has much free time to meet, but once everyone starts working, the calendars automatically clears up for meeting. that's just life man.
so after luncheon, them back to work, and i headed to china square which i did not know is owned by fraser malls. bad retail student. :( and seeing that i have yet to make my observations over a few wet markets in singapore (that's my dissertation topic) , headed over to chinatown market.
flashbacks to our memories to all these places:
- walking passed that corner room opposite chinatown point where we went once, yet another flashback to your army days.
- walking passed the dessert shop where we shared the traditional almond and peanut soup,
- walking thru the back alleys where i always make a joke about how rapists and robbery loves to take place only in such places in tv shows and movies,
- walking passed the shop where after u gave me flowers, we went there for chilli crabs because they don't cost as much as those seafood restaurants,
- walking into the market, staring upstairs the hawker where you love that chicken rice stall cause they gave you more chicken than rice,
- at the porridge stall where you purposely woke me up to go have breakfast at before heading to school,
- walking passed the lifts where we waited for lift to get to the carpark and you always making an illegal turn out of the carpark, claiming your skills too good, and searching for the car every time.
headed to the wet market to get some photos for my report, and i felt weird in my outfit at the market. so i continued our memories trip
- walking passed that durian stall where you always run across
- the frog porridge stall that you claimed is better than geylang's frog porridge
- walking passed the lift we took to your first old house and your grandfather's house
- to the shop where you bought coffee for your mother.
- to the place where I first met your grandfather.
minor things that makes you realised how much you didn't take notice until you left the country and coming back to losing what is actually important to you - love and memories.
another thing i realized is how i can always walked past and just treated everything as just as they belonged. but i never take a step slower and appreciate what is the culture that is left behind. because the chinatown that what i once knew, is no longer how it is already. no longer the queue for the famous "biscuits" for a lack of better word, instead, it's the queue for bak kwa, which to be honest, i think the standard fell. it wasn't as nice as it once was. but then again, i was crazy and bored enough to wanting to queue and just to disturb the queue line. ha!
but then it's good that i had my me day. walking thru memory lane, and finally appreciating what i didn't treasured in the past, yet living thru the happy times.
maybe it's time i go back into my protection mode just like how we once chatted about it, just like how you are acting now, because in basic sense, we are pretty similar. just like how you will always faked happiness when you go thru breakup because you don't wish to affect anyone other than yourself. like how i don't like my mood to affect people. because like you said once, we are similar in many senses and we were a unit once.
xoxo to you.
