When we met

a simple trip to town, a place u don't like to go, i knew i won't be able to see you. Yet I did. I saw ur t-shirt first, and i recognise u immediately. her continuously stares at me, just dulls against you. wanting to be as friendly as I could, I wanted to lightly tap u on your arms. Didn't meant to hit it hard, but I just had to act it cool. Didn't want to make the situation awkward for you. You were just busy chatting with your friend and just holding her hand and she just follows u along. Doesn't it sound familiar once? I saw more than what she wanted me to see in her eyes. I saw her controlness for u. She trying to figure me out, while you don't give a damn. How ironic the situation had became. They said an outsider sees more than the party involved sees. I knew what they meant then. I didn't see happiness in you, I didn't sense it from you either. Maybe you might think that you are talking to your friend, that's why you don't show either. This kind of thing, it doesn't always show in one way only, it shows in more than one ways.
I wanted to do so much more. the urges, the control I have to fight to prevent me from doing something stupid. I did what I could do, to pretend to walk past u cooly while you guys turn back and stare at who was the one that "slap" you. I know myself if I were to look back, I would have done many things. Many stupid, fun, beautiful, ugly things. To blow u a kiss, to give her the middle finger for being a 3rd party, to run back and hug u and many other things. surprisingly, none of it was to scold u for cheating on me behind my back, making me wear a "green hat".
Just walking towards you, to tapping you, to walking passed you, my heart have never beats so fast before this year other than that day when I saw u again when I landed. I knew then I was still in love with you. Sometimes I doubt myself whether was I still in love with you, or was it because of the loneliness I'm feeling that's why I wanted you back. Just that few seconds felt like minutes, I felt happy deep down inside me. Something that couldn't have been reached for a very long time (okay, maybe it's not that long. it's just 8 months.) I guess it starts to sound a bit like from some romance storybook, but for that instant, those feelings were exactly like what is written in a romance novel.
I believe in fate. When we were together, we never did bump into your ex. But yet when you are together with her, you bumped into me. I used to never believe in it, until I went overseas. The experience really changed me into who I really was. How ironic that we could have bump into each other when Singapore although not really big, ain't very small either. You could have been in one of the malls walking around, while I was in another, and we could never have bumped into one another even thou we are at the same place the whole time around. But yet we are fated to cross each other path once more. Like I always say, I would rather let nature's take its course. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, maybe I am not.
While crossing to the place we met briefly, pharrell william's happy was playing, with the exact same line of "clap along if you know what happiness is to you." Of so many songs, why that song? and just a minute or two before I bump into you? Maybe you didn't realised, maybe you didn't hear it because u were busy talking to your friend instead.
I found myself surprised that I don't feel hurt even thou I saw with my own eyes that you guys are holding hands. I couldn't find the same anger that cheryl had when she blogged about us. Maybe cause i'm deceiving myself, maybe i'm not. I felt something more. I felt the willpower to stay and continue waiting. call me a fool, laugh at me for being one, i don't care. Because I know what my heart tells me, and I am willing to fight for my heart. You can say you don't have anymore feelings for me, like how you tried to lie badly to my face, like how intuition has been telling me that you were cheating on me when I was overseas. You can continue to lie to yourself like how you always think i'm lying to myself. Maybe the one all these while that has been lying to themselves was you. You didn't wanted me when I came back because you got too bored while waiting for me, and you found yourself a replacement while I was away. You wanted to try something new because you got bored of being in our relationship for too long. But one thing is that guilt for making me a fool will always be in you, for deceiving yourself out of true love. (or maybe it's just my thinking from what I know of you. That you have been manipulated  by yourself, by others, by what you see, by what  you want, by what you know, but not by what you feel.)

People said love is blind and love makes you a fool. I can tell you, it's facts. I have never felt much more like a blinded fool than right now than I have ever in my life - by waiting for you till the end of time.
I'll wait for you and we will start afresh by creating the happiness, sorrows, pains and every other emotions of a true love does. <3 p="">