Happy choosing it, including choosing you.

growing up, you learn when you can't be soft anymore, and you got to let go when you are not happy. you can't always take into consideration people's feelings and because of trying to protect their feelings, you end up hurting yourself and not feeling the emotional of happiness with yourself. Because the most important thing about life is be happy with yourself first, if not you can't spread happiness. If you are happy with your decision, then go all out for it, but if you are doubting yourself whether is this the right one, you know deep down within yourself this is not the right one. If you have doubt(s), it's usually not the right one. If you can't fill the basic contentment of spreading happiness and absorbing happiness from others, you know you are not happy with your life.
Dr. Jack taught me that regardless whatever life throws at you, you can face it with 2 choices -
1) take it as it is because internally you are happy with regardless of the decision that you make at the end, no difficult cannot be solved if you are happy and content with your own life.
2) analysis the whole situation thru and thru, looking into every single possibility that if either of the decision you made have to be the right one for your own future. Reason you do this because you are not happy with your own life, and you wish that since life throw you this problem, you need to make the best decision so that you can be happy with it in the future.
But the sad truth about making decision in your life will always be this: 你所做的选着在那时候是你觉得最好的，但不代表是你生命中所做的最真诚，最真对的选着，因为人重是要最好的。但是你所做的选着在那时后你所决的是最好的，不代表你这辈子会是快了的。因为你只要最好，也觉得在那时候做的选着会对你是最快了的，而不是你本身已经最快了了。(okay, typing chinese is still a bloody chore to me. because Dr. Jack said every single thing in taiwanese chinese. -.-)
But then if you think about it, isn't the best decision you made at that time, the one that will make you the happiest? apparently, that's why life always throw you challenges at period timing to let you test whether is that your best decision because if it is, it should make you happy at the end of all the challenges you faced.

One thing I know for sure after listening and looking back at my own life, there sure to be things that I regretted because I wasn't happy and I made the decision to choose that path to make me happy. But one thing for sure until today, I am happy with most of my decisions that I made since my poly days until now. Because I was happy choosing it, and not because I think I will be happy if I chose it. and that includes you. I am happy with my own choice of taking up the courage to say those words to you then and still will do the same even if time will to rewind. Because I would not learn about all these if life didn't go this way for me. It takes a real person to admit their own mistakes in life, for the person want to grow into a better person. I found my happiness in myself and in you then not by chance, but by choice and by fate that we had crossed paths. Because I know I have to fight for my own happiness, and I will fight for my own happiness again, even with you.