HELLO!!!!!!!!!! *WAVES!*
shock to see me back here bloggin rite??? i know.
guess after so long of not blogging, means i have lots of things to update right? actually, the fact is that there actually ain't anything to blog about. Lots of things happened, happy, sad, emotional heartbreaking, anger, and so on so forth. am i going to write it out? yes and no. why? cause i don't want to relive the past, but yet i want to note down the lessons learned in life. so in point form -
1) Life is just a meaningless stuff. It all depends on how you want to dress it up or strip it down.
2) Working in USS is getting more and more complicated matter. Thou i know the system in and out (or at least i think i know), more things just always cocked up.
3) Now i really wonder is retail for me?
4) SOP is a book that has many many and i meant LOTS OF MANY pages with unwritten words. They only tell you the outline of it. Not everything in it.
5) Maybe there isn't such a thing as justice anymore.
6) Love can come and go. Sometimes, it's best not to hold it tight cause the rope can still break and make both parties drift apart.
7) Maybe lesi and gay isn't all that bad that we all thought of.
8) Working can really make you a very very dull fellow. Worst is when you have shift work.
9) All i ever need is ???????? (i lost that answer already)
10) Sometimes, the bigger the company, the duller the lines of SOP.
11) Everything and i meant everything is in the control of GOD. Who are we to interfere?
12) Lessons in life are learnt this minute, and forgotten to apply the next.
13) Someone once told me, there's no point controlling the other party's life. It's their form of privacy.
14) The longer you work at one place, the lazier you get.
15) I wish i can still say i love you a lot a lot, but now i don't know if i can.
16) It's easy to let go of the past, once you have thought about the future.
17) A lot of times you can't change how you wish the "event" to happen, you can only keep the opinion to yourself.
18) When you give up your own life, you start appreciating everything that has happened.
19) I've changed.
oh well, if i continue, it'll be a never ending story for me to type. Cause i've been doing lots of reflections in my life, and i have to say, i'm not happy with some of what i've done, but it's the past. Let's move on.
One last thing for you to ponder on - what is life to you actually?
Saturday, 26 May 2012
Saturday, 28 January 2012
Lonely souls
If you know i'm back blogging, you will know it's always during when i'm feeling down and really bored to the bones deep down.
to be honest, and always having the same reflections on myself, I'm really a very very bad friend. a bad person living honestly. with a very very bad personality that is not friendly enough, not likeable enough. i suppose i have been living like this, gotten thru it too often enough of being alone. to be honest, I'm always alone. hard to please. friends? i don't have lots. only those handful that can be counted with my hands and toes. pitiful much? kinda of? i have nothing to offer, nothing to keep them near me, not of worthy quality to keep in touch. people hates me and that's not a surprise to me at all. just a feeling of hurt that will be gone after much long of prolong observation on the individual. just feeling down again. seriously, the friend(s) that i have these days is just him. and when he's busy, it just becomes me alone. and it's just too often nowadays. off days are for me to feel emo, after work is for me to be emo too . during work, it's just pretense. life is just an acting stage putting on faces after faces as and when you're required to perform.
i think i have come to a point in time where my existence doesn't make a difference anymore. who knows, maybe the next time you see me, it might be just at the funeral. i don't believe in living anymore, and living minute by minute, even using work to avoid thinking. it's times like this, that i really wish that 2012 is the last year of earth. i really can't be bother with everything anymore. i really tried everything, already done my best, but it's still that bad.
guess i shall not write anymore. i just can't stop the tears from coming down anymore.
to be honest, and always having the same reflections on myself, I'm really a very very bad friend. a bad person living honestly. with a very very bad personality that is not friendly enough, not likeable enough. i suppose i have been living like this, gotten thru it too often enough of being alone. to be honest, I'm always alone. hard to please. friends? i don't have lots. only those handful that can be counted with my hands and toes. pitiful much? kinda of? i have nothing to offer, nothing to keep them near me, not of worthy quality to keep in touch. people hates me and that's not a surprise to me at all. just a feeling of hurt that will be gone after much long of prolong observation on the individual. just feeling down again. seriously, the friend(s) that i have these days is just him. and when he's busy, it just becomes me alone. and it's just too often nowadays. off days are for me to feel emo, after work is for me to be emo too . during work, it's just pretense. life is just an acting stage putting on faces after faces as and when you're required to perform.
i think i have come to a point in time where my existence doesn't make a difference anymore. who knows, maybe the next time you see me, it might be just at the funeral. i don't believe in living anymore, and living minute by minute, even using work to avoid thinking. it's times like this, that i really wish that 2012 is the last year of earth. i really can't be bother with everything anymore. i really tried everything, already done my best, but it's still that bad.
guess i shall not write anymore. i just can't stop the tears from coming down anymore.
Thursday, 5 January 2012
2012 doesn't seems good to me anymore.
I know I left this blog untouched for way too long and only decides to start blogging now again. Not on purpose, but not un-purposed too. it's not as if i have no time to blog at all, which i do, but i can only blame it on my laziness to not blog.
now i back to blog, but not in the blogging mind-set, seeing that i'm still using here as my frustration board. and here i am, back with an even more unsettling mind, with an even more disturbed situations than before. seems to me that 2012 didn't even start of well for me. how is that even possible? i wish everything to be solved, and just let everything go smoothly.
i don't want the other eyes staring at me like a complete strangers, i don't want you to tell me you still love me, i don't want you to come and destroy what i have now. back then, when i wanted was you to be back with me, you didn't wanted me. no matter how much you said you wanted me back then, you just didn't take any action, even after what i told you. now when i'm happy in my world, and with you finally deciding to take actions, why is it that you want to destroy what i have bulit, i have treasured? why is it always a 3rd party case when it comes to you and me? the tears i shed, the emotions that wavered, the dreams i dreamt, the thoughts i had, the chats we used to have, don't bring me back to the past, thank you.
i think i have wasted more than enough of my youth and time with you already. but messages like these, it just makes me dumbfound. Baby can't even be bother to help me, just tell me to ignore him. i wish to cry, but it pains me more to cry, cause it just makes me travel back in my memories.
i just wish for you to be happy the way you are, and don't come and spoil anybody's r/s. it takes ages to build it up, but seconds to break it down apart. maybe you think you'll be happier with me after doing so, but that doesn't make me happy.
okay, enough of that, the other matter up on hand is (hopefully), i'm the one that is sensitive to matters in the store. i'm like having this magnet of do not talk to me in the store, when i did nothing wrong. it feels as if rumors and politics are been played in the store once more. "actors and actresses" be it good or bad, seems to be doing it more professionally than me. maybe i haven't been in the work force long enough, or maybe i don't act as well, but that doesn't mean reactions to be such an extent. what it is, i'm just bearing with it. it's going to be over soon, for it won't be long when the hatred feeling leaves the air (meaning i'm gone from the store). i know that for sure i won't be missed cause i was a next to nothing even after contributing much to the store, it's just a heartless place like how someone told me before. or rather, more than one someone. changes, that's the word to describe that place, and that's what happens everyday.
i know this is pretty much an emo post, but i just got to let it out some. for the rest, i have no place to let it out, and hold it in my own. and it's time for me to get some sleep, for morning comes too soon.
nights to the world out there, and a belated happy 2012 new year to everyone,
xoxoxo,
yours sincerly,
Jo.
now i back to blog, but not in the blogging mind-set, seeing that i'm still using here as my frustration board. and here i am, back with an even more unsettling mind, with an even more disturbed situations than before. seems to me that 2012 didn't even start of well for me. how is that even possible? i wish everything to be solved, and just let everything go smoothly.
i don't want the other eyes staring at me like a complete strangers, i don't want you to tell me you still love me, i don't want you to come and destroy what i have now. back then, when i wanted was you to be back with me, you didn't wanted me. no matter how much you said you wanted me back then, you just didn't take any action, even after what i told you. now when i'm happy in my world, and with you finally deciding to take actions, why is it that you want to destroy what i have bulit, i have treasured? why is it always a 3rd party case when it comes to you and me? the tears i shed, the emotions that wavered, the dreams i dreamt, the thoughts i had, the chats we used to have, don't bring me back to the past, thank you.
i think i have wasted more than enough of my youth and time with you already. but messages like these, it just makes me dumbfound. Baby can't even be bother to help me, just tell me to ignore him. i wish to cry, but it pains me more to cry, cause it just makes me travel back in my memories.
i just wish for you to be happy the way you are, and don't come and spoil anybody's r/s. it takes ages to build it up, but seconds to break it down apart. maybe you think you'll be happier with me after doing so, but that doesn't make me happy.
okay, enough of that, the other matter up on hand is (hopefully), i'm the one that is sensitive to matters in the store. i'm like having this magnet of do not talk to me in the store, when i did nothing wrong. it feels as if rumors and politics are been played in the store once more. "actors and actresses" be it good or bad, seems to be doing it more professionally than me. maybe i haven't been in the work force long enough, or maybe i don't act as well, but that doesn't mean reactions to be such an extent. what it is, i'm just bearing with it. it's going to be over soon, for it won't be long when the hatred feeling leaves the air (meaning i'm gone from the store). i know that for sure i won't be missed cause i was a next to nothing even after contributing much to the store, it's just a heartless place like how someone told me before. or rather, more than one someone. changes, that's the word to describe that place, and that's what happens everyday.
i know this is pretty much an emo post, but i just got to let it out some. for the rest, i have no place to let it out, and hold it in my own. and it's time for me to get some sleep, for morning comes too soon.
nights to the world out there, and a belated happy 2012 new year to everyone,
xoxoxo,
yours sincerly,
Jo.
Thursday, 22 September 2011
Wednesday, 21 September 2011
3rd mth at FGM + advance 11th mth
okay, it's been confirmed a week or more ago liao... but still, e official date was supposed to be 20... hahahahaha! so as of now, i'm a TM liao... :D no more junior in front le! :D but still, it doesnt make much diff... -.-||| and to make it worst, all my mistakes came together all at once on tis very day... :( tat's y my mood is damn f-in low... haix...
i wish baby hubby is beside me, to make me feel better... but sayin tat will make him hate army even further... thou i already said... :X
anyway, i'm still down, & i found tings to make me even depressed much... haix... i mux be crazy already...
okay, did one quiz (cause i'm too too too bored) & here are e results:
1. This animal represents the personality of the person you would be attracted to in real life situation. You chose Sheep - In a real life situation you would be attracted to a person who is obedient and warm.
2. This animal represents the impression that you would like to give to your partner. You chose Dog - You like others to see you as loyal and faithful.
3. This animal represents the behavior that would cause you to break up with your partner. You chose Snake - Your partner is too emotional and moody and you don't know how to please him/her.
4. This animal represents the kind of relationship that you would like to build with your partner. You chose Rabbit - You want a relationship that makes you feel warm and always in love.
5. This animal shows whether you are capable of committing adultery. You chose Bird - You don't like to make commitments and are likely to commit adultery.
6. This animal represents your views about marriage. You chose White tiger - You think marriage is something precious, once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.
7. This animal represents your views about love at this present moment. You chose Lion - You always thirst for love, you can do anything for it, but you won't fall for it easily.
seems partially true? no. 5 is confirm not true... i mean come on man, e qn & options was tis:
5. On an isolated island you can only have one of the following as your companion, which one would you choose?
human,pig,cow,bird...
would u choose BIRD?! i mean human is lyk so so obvious will have adultery, but if u chose human, it states, no u most likely wont have adultery... -.-||| wad is tis??! nonsense, lyk freakin srzly... e quiz should jux be gone...
anyway, 22 is comin, & seeing tat i might be lazy to on my lappy unlyk now, i might as well type it out first,
HAPPY ADVANCED 11TH MTH, LOVERBOY/BABY/HUBBY/NICHKIE/LAO GONG/DARLING/HONEY (okay, i srzly forget wad other nicknames le... -.- jux pick whichever u prefer frm e list... :X)
I love you true & thru... ♥♥♥
tat day then send u my msg ba... :X 2mths nv get to celebrate le... haix... army jux screwed schedules & dates... :( wad's more wif next mth even worst... :( nvm, next mth advance de, okay?
okay, so for now, i shall go back & do sumtin first b4 i sleep...
nitey nitex~
i wish baby hubby is beside me, to make me feel better... but sayin tat will make him hate army even further... thou i already said... :X
anyway, i'm still down, & i found tings to make me even depressed much... haix... i mux be crazy already...
okay, did one quiz (cause i'm too too too bored) & here are e results:
1. This animal represents the personality of the person you would be attracted to in real life situation. You chose Sheep - In a real life situation you would be attracted to a person who is obedient and warm.
2. This animal represents the impression that you would like to give to your partner. You chose Dog - You like others to see you as loyal and faithful.
3. This animal represents the behavior that would cause you to break up with your partner. You chose Snake - Your partner is too emotional and moody and you don't know how to please him/her.
4. This animal represents the kind of relationship that you would like to build with your partner. You chose Rabbit - You want a relationship that makes you feel warm and always in love.
5. This animal shows whether you are capable of committing adultery. You chose Bird - You don't like to make commitments and are likely to commit adultery.
6. This animal represents your views about marriage. You chose White tiger - You think marriage is something precious, once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.
7. This animal represents your views about love at this present moment. You chose Lion - You always thirst for love, you can do anything for it, but you won't fall for it easily.
seems partially true? no. 5 is confirm not true... i mean come on man, e qn & options was tis:
5. On an isolated island you can only have one of the following as your companion, which one would you choose?
human,pig,cow,bird...
would u choose BIRD?! i mean human is lyk so so obvious will have adultery, but if u chose human, it states, no u most likely wont have adultery... -.-||| wad is tis??! nonsense, lyk freakin srzly... e quiz should jux be gone...
anyway, 22 is comin, & seeing tat i might be lazy to on my lappy unlyk now, i might as well type it out first,
HAPPY ADVANCED 11TH MTH, LOVERBOY/BABY/HUBBY/NICHKIE/LAO GONG/DARLING/HONEY (okay, i srzly forget wad other nicknames le... -.- jux pick whichever u prefer frm e list... :X)
I love you true & thru... ♥♥♥
tat day then send u my msg ba... :X 2mths nv get to celebrate le... haix... army jux screwed schedules & dates... :( wad's more wif next mth even worst... :( nvm, next mth advance de, okay?
okay, so for now, i shall go back & do sumtin first b4 i sleep...
nitey nitex~
Sunday, 18 September 2011
yo! wadssup????
it's been ages since I last blogged... I noe I noe... it's not work tat tired me out, jux tat very very lazy to on lappy n type out everything... :X
so I jux decided to write a short summary of wad happened recently...
1) had more newcomers joinin out store
2) we started e sales of mist fans (which until 2day I nv understand y they wan us to sell... -!-)
3) we had a very very lousy d&d... where? rite in e park... 3 coupons to 'redeem' - door gift,lucky draw n dinner... -!- how wonderful huh??? so for dinner, we had it at mel's dines in... -.- thou I mux say e brownie is not bad wor... :X thou a bit too little choco sauce... :C
& we only get to ride 4 of e rides, well, I only wrote 3 thou... :X hahahahahahaha!!!! but guess wad?! I rode on cyclon!!! hahahahahahaha!!!! n I mux say ridin at nite is awesome!!! but i still can rmb my human tat experience... so I kinda lost my voice to shout! hahaha! but turnin upside down is damn scary when u're in e tunnel, cause it's damn close n it's 4eva turnin de lor!!! -!- hahaha. but it was a better choice to ride enchanted b4 ridin cyclon! :X
had a 'fun' time 'camwhorin'... okay, kinda of ba? :x thou I feel a bit left out seein tat I'm not really close to tis grp? :x
4) met new friends while sellin mist fans... :X okay, n talk cock much... :X
5) I have yet to go shopping!!!! :C
6) our overseas trip have to b cancel all tanks to e bloody bitch of e so called parents... :C booooo much!!!!
7) ended up mayb goin for chalet...
8) I still need to go shopping!!!
9) I have yet to visit h&m yet... -!- slow much? yeah, very...
10) went out wif gui, jun n chor gong for froggie porridge n tau Huey!!! hahahaha... but e ting is it's damn scary to walk down Gelyang n at e same time see sum ah bei pick up e cheena entertainer noein wa they will be doin next... :X but anyway, tanks ah gui for buying ryeowook stuffs for me back frm Taiwan... :x
& tat sum wad summaries all e tings tat I can rmb... :X so tat's all for now... :X gotta send nichkie in to army n join kangaroo they all to celebrate banana's birthday...
~Written on my ta ji ta ji!!!~
so I jux decided to write a short summary of wad happened recently...
1) had more newcomers joinin out store
2) we started e sales of mist fans (which until 2day I nv understand y they wan us to sell... -!-)
3) we had a very very lousy d&d... where? rite in e park... 3 coupons to 'redeem' - door gift,lucky draw n dinner... -!- how wonderful huh??? so for dinner, we had it at mel's dines in... -.- thou I mux say e brownie is not bad wor... :X thou a bit too little choco sauce... :C
& we only get to ride 4 of e rides, well, I only wrote 3 thou... :X hahahahahahaha!!!! but guess wad?! I rode on cyclon!!! hahahahahahaha!!!! n I mux say ridin at nite is awesome!!! but i still can rmb my human tat experience... so I kinda lost my voice to shout! hahaha! but turnin upside down is damn scary when u're in e tunnel, cause it's damn close n it's 4eva turnin de lor!!! -!- hahaha. but it was a better choice to ride enchanted b4 ridin cyclon! :X
had a 'fun' time 'camwhorin'... okay, kinda of ba? :x thou I feel a bit left out seein tat I'm not really close to tis grp? :x
4) met new friends while sellin mist fans... :X okay, n talk cock much... :X
5) I have yet to go shopping!!!! :C
6) our overseas trip have to b cancel all tanks to e bloody bitch of e so called parents... :C booooo much!!!!
7) ended up mayb goin for chalet...
8) I still need to go shopping!!!
9) I have yet to visit h&m yet... -!- slow much? yeah, very...
10) went out wif gui, jun n chor gong for froggie porridge n tau Huey!!! hahahaha... but e ting is it's damn scary to walk down Gelyang n at e same time see sum ah bei pick up e cheena entertainer noein wa they will be doin next... :X but anyway, tanks ah gui for buying ryeowook stuffs for me back frm Taiwan... :x
& tat sum wad summaries all e tings tat I can rmb... :X so tat's all for now... :X gotta send nichkie in to army n join kangaroo they all to celebrate banana's birthday...
~Written on my ta ji ta ji!!!~
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Mr Simple - Super Junior
time to sleep... let's see if i'm able to go fetch nichkie 2molo after my work... hahahaha... let's hope it'll be a good surprise... :X
& i hope it'll work out well... pray tat nth goes wrong & i'll be able to fetch him since he tinks tat i'm only able to see him on friday mornin... *cross my fingers*
(siwon will be e cause of my death if i hang up tis poster... *faints*)
Tuesday, 26 July 2011
Goodbye baby - Miss A
been ages since i blog... kekeke...
work been fine so far? at least i more or less can see everyone's "truth" faces... tink i look more lyk e boot-lickin to e bosses n tl... but then, i'm learnin... haix... nvm... dun bother...
jux got my death sentence on monday cause i was sent to do cashierin... not tat i dun lyk cashierin, in fact, i kinda of lyk it... jux tat i dun lyk to take responsibility and afraid tat i might give wrong change and all tat... okay, forget it, in short, i dun wan to take unnecessary responsibility... :( luckily i survived e first day, but still, cause i'm new, they wan to push everyting to me... haix... so gotta to learn... work is fun if it's jux re-stockin... but still, i got to take it as it comes... so jia you to me le... haix...
i dunno wad to update... cause ever since i started work, time is nv enough... and i started gettin more lonely... cause i'm still not so familiar wif them... i'm still e new element, or rather not really... aiya, jiu not close to them... n i doubt i will be... haix... i dun wan to say much... thou i kept it to a small part of my work, but i cant help to feel wad will happen after long...
okay, enough for now... got to go...
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