By my title, u can tell. Concurrently, I'm still stuck on this little red dot while my bf is enjoying his life at Korea. And because he is busy enjoying his life there, I know he forgets his promise of communicating with me. Really, what's the point of technology when you have the technology but can't be bother to communicate? Should I do this to u too? When I'm so tired and wants to sleep but I can't cause I got to wait for u to communicate with me. Already forced myself awake twice already. I know by now, you should be in the hostel already, cause it's 1.50 or close to 2am there already. But apparently I'm not impt. That's y u don't even bother to talk to me. I'm just that upset with u. Apparently, the longer u r in a r/s, the less u want to talk. Fine. So be it. Don't blame me when I run away with another guy because he's giving me his attentions while u don't want to cause u're just too busy for me. The more I look, the more it seems we won't last long anymore. Who was there when I needed the attention? Not u anymore. Now I really don't feel lyk picking u up from the airport anymore. U can find ur way home urself. Who to say u won't have ur family member to pick u up. Haix. I should just go n sleep n not wait for ur msgs anymore.
Tuesday, 9 July 2013
Tuesday, 2 July 2013
what i wanted to do, but yet not given the chance to do it.
movies that i want to watch: man of steel, white house down and a few more. but what happened? end up i couldn't watch unless i decide to watch it by myself. how depressing right? all thanks to my so-called bf who ends up watching with his pals who are more important than his gf. oh well, i'm leading an even more depressing life than before.
That's my obsession
so i'm back to rant once more. i really hope to blame it on the aftermath of the medication, but i know it's me. so the feeling is back once more, if not i won't be taking it over here. will i? what feelings am i talking about? the distance feeling. yes, the curse seems to be in effect, but u don't care. in fact, you didn't even care about my feelings, my thoughts, my worries. you just brush it off as me over-thinking, really, how is all this over-thinking? what happened to being honest in all relationship? apparently, this policy doesn't work at all. seriously, i gave you your space, u end up not even bothering about me. fine, i was over that phase, i can be independent. i can just stay at home and rot all day, it's okay, i'm used to it already. yet, even i told u about all my worries, u hack it aside. told you i don't like you to be near her, yet you continue. when she was with her bf, yes, i had my doubts, but not that bad. but when i starts to learn her bf don't even hang out with you guys, i told u to stay away. did you? no, you didn't. why? "she's my best friend from pri sch, when in trouble, of course will help." sure. i can only tolerate until certain amount. but from that night, it was already way over. but did you even listen?
nowadays with the "curse" in place, all one by one end up breaking up, you are not worry about yourself being the next even when people curse you. and because she now has free time, apparently, you guys just spend so much time together. what happened to your gf? doesn't she have free time? isn't she flying off for a long period of time? you don't seems to care about her. your immediate concern is all about how busy your days are filled and packed with. you don't even bother to spending time with your gf. when ystd, sending me home that time, your friends called you to go supper, you seems to be in more rush to go find them than to chat with me even with your pretense in face. seriously, what did you expect me to do?
just ask any girl, most of them will tell you they can't stand their bf having a close bff that is a girl. which girl like to share her time with another girl? most will say none, they can't stand it. already many told me i was very lenient to be able to tolerate so long, but i'm sorry, i can't tolerate no more. i don't wish to come down to this - but it's either she goes or i go.
nowadays with the "curse" in place, all one by one end up breaking up, you are not worry about yourself being the next even when people curse you. and because she now has free time, apparently, you guys just spend so much time together. what happened to your gf? doesn't she have free time? isn't she flying off for a long period of time? you don't seems to care about her. your immediate concern is all about how busy your days are filled and packed with. you don't even bother to spending time with your gf. when ystd, sending me home that time, your friends called you to go supper, you seems to be in more rush to go find them than to chat with me even with your pretense in face. seriously, what did you expect me to do?
just ask any girl, most of them will tell you they can't stand their bf having a close bff that is a girl. which girl like to share her time with another girl? most will say none, they can't stand it. already many told me i was very lenient to be able to tolerate so long, but i'm sorry, i can't tolerate no more. i don't wish to come down to this - but it's either she goes or i go.
Wednesday, 22 May 2013
Personality Quizes
What is your True Fear?
Your Result: Being Alone
While you may act like you don't care on the outside, on the inside your biggest fear is being alone. You can be quite shy and reserved. You feel like a lot of times people don't really see the real you. You're afraid that no one will really truly love you, and that you will be alone for the rest of your life. On the inside you are great person, so just remember that and don't let your shy nature get the best of you! If you don't want to be a lone then you need to make an effort to be with someone. Show the people that you care about that you really love them, and chances are someone will always be there, even if you think they won't.
How Should You Cheer Up?
Your Result: Hang Out
Go hang out with someone, or tag along. It sounds like you need some human company.
Does He Like Me?
Your Result: he likes you
he sorta likes you, but doesnt really want anyone to know. he still thinks he needs to get to know you a little more, but really wants to. go after him... and anything can happen! enjoy.
31 months
so it seems today became yet another normal day when it's suppose to be the 22nd. i suppose it should be okay, seeing that it's 31 months. this is what happens when you are in a stable relationship. looks like boring town settle in once more. maybe that's why i'm feeling sentimental. and maybe another reason why was that i know that nothing is going to happen today because of our switched personalities. oh well, forget it. having no expectation at all is best, lest you end up feeling disappointed. but a girl can hope, can't she? it's just human nature. oh forget it. shall study, i lost my mood already. for 2 days straight. thanks.
Saturday, 11 May 2013
cold war day 2
and it just keeps going on. when both parties are prideful fellows, this is what will happened. each taking blame for the sake of taking blame but refusing to accept the blame internally. and back to the same conclusion each day - whatever we do, the other party will never be happy. yes, you never know if you never try, but do you want to risk trying it?
i think i should be put on suicide watch. i dreamed on how i would end up dying. with the photo frame broken, a piece of glass against my wrist, i bled to death. worst thing is that nobody finds me until it was too late. i got sent to hospital and end up still death took over me. you came too late. maybe it was for the better that you didn't even see me, but i can't help standing there as a spirit and seeing my parents blaming you. or maybe it should have been like this.
been sick the whole day. feeling super cold when the sun is shining damn bright. did you even care?
the curse is heading for us now. you should know what i'm talking about.
i think i should be put on suicide watch. i dreamed on how i would end up dying. with the photo frame broken, a piece of glass against my wrist, i bled to death. worst thing is that nobody finds me until it was too late. i got sent to hospital and end up still death took over me. you came too late. maybe it was for the better that you didn't even see me, but i can't help standing there as a spirit and seeing my parents blaming you. or maybe it should have been like this.
been sick the whole day. feeling super cold when the sun is shining damn bright. did you even care?
the curse is heading for us now. you should know what i'm talking about.
Did you even understand me at all?
looks like i have been taking to blog so much recently. i'm just so much in a mix feelings that i don't know what to do. part of my reasons of why i do not have any focus studying. in fact, i didn't even study at all. at least it feels like i did, with absolutely nothing in my head. just bloody brilliant.
to be honest, i starting to see how much you don't understand me. nothing seems to show u understand me. everyday form of communication is just for form. gestures beginning to fade off as time wash up on us. is it even us still? now been the critical period i really don't want to breakdown but it seems inevitable. too angry, too hurt everytime this happens. i don't wish to throw shit at your friends but it seems my feelings for them are getting worst. i don't wish to comment anymore lest the backslash gets back to me. maybe cause as people changes you either learn to accept them as it is if not just refuse to. i don't know how to continue liking them. seems like you took over my traits and personality and i took over yours. what happened to your rule of hating to club and much less your other half? how did it get on me instead? i guess this just happens to couples when you are with each other for too long. somewhat like what family does.
i thought i learnt from beyonce that the rule for guys is never to pressure them or talk them into anything related to the both of you. just like what everyone says - let nature take its course. maybe i didn't learn it properly, cause the more time spend, i don't feel you are into us anymore. you said you don't feel the drift already, but i do. in fact, it just got worst. it turn even further for the worst when you celebrate my birthday. sorry, i can't break your heart but i really didn't enjoy my birthday. i really appreciate all your planning but when you ask me about what i remember the most on my birthday it had to be my fear of height with you ignoring that fact, puking badly after the "buffet" and on our ride inside the flyers where you said i'm not romantic at all with the sad face on you throughout the ride when you sit down beside me cause i can't bear to stand. maybe i think too much, but at least with what i seen with my eyes, it becomes a memory. the only thing i enjoy throughout, your company for the whole day.
if you realized, i didn't even blog about my b'day celebration much less have any photos, cause i didn't take any. i was too scare to even take photo with my phone.
i suppose i just want to focus on my exams before i even think even further all those worries clouding me. i wish my time to go to scotland will be here very very soon. maybe we need the time apart for you to realize what matters to you.
to be honest, i starting to see how much you don't understand me. nothing seems to show u understand me. everyday form of communication is just for form. gestures beginning to fade off as time wash up on us. is it even us still? now been the critical period i really don't want to breakdown but it seems inevitable. too angry, too hurt everytime this happens. i don't wish to throw shit at your friends but it seems my feelings for them are getting worst. i don't wish to comment anymore lest the backslash gets back to me. maybe cause as people changes you either learn to accept them as it is if not just refuse to. i don't know how to continue liking them. seems like you took over my traits and personality and i took over yours. what happened to your rule of hating to club and much less your other half? how did it get on me instead? i guess this just happens to couples when you are with each other for too long. somewhat like what family does.
i thought i learnt from beyonce that the rule for guys is never to pressure them or talk them into anything related to the both of you. just like what everyone says - let nature take its course. maybe i didn't learn it properly, cause the more time spend, i don't feel you are into us anymore. you said you don't feel the drift already, but i do. in fact, it just got worst. it turn even further for the worst when you celebrate my birthday. sorry, i can't break your heart but i really didn't enjoy my birthday. i really appreciate all your planning but when you ask me about what i remember the most on my birthday it had to be my fear of height with you ignoring that fact, puking badly after the "buffet" and on our ride inside the flyers where you said i'm not romantic at all with the sad face on you throughout the ride when you sit down beside me cause i can't bear to stand. maybe i think too much, but at least with what i seen with my eyes, it becomes a memory. the only thing i enjoy throughout, your company for the whole day.
if you realized, i didn't even blog about my b'day celebration much less have any photos, cause i didn't take any. i was too scare to even take photo with my phone.
i suppose i just want to focus on my exams before i even think even further all those worries clouding me. i wish my time to go to scotland will be here very very soon. maybe we need the time apart for you to realize what matters to you.
Thursday, 9 May 2013
shuffling away with secondary cliques
i should be studying by here i am blogging. :X guilty.
caught up on all the episodes of wax and wane. :X guilty.
anyway, wanted to blog about yesterday experience at shuffle at albert king court hotel there.
overall, i got to say it depends on who u going with. why? cause it's based on that experience, i got to say if i take away the company, it's really die. :X out of 5, i give it 1.5 to 2.
Food: 2/5
Atmosphere: 1/5
Service: 4/5 (due to nobody or close to nobody)
Live band: 3/5 (and this is quite high despite the fact that we left early cause of the band.)
so anyway, i went with JAAY and that includes myself since i'm J. hehehe.
the cafe/restaurant/bistro bar is quite dim. we almost had to get our own candle out and lighted to eat. -.- so we requested to change place due to the area very dim. changed to a table away from the front of the band area. we were deciding on what food to order when 3/4 of the menu is alcohol. -.- i got to say the food is really limited. cause it's a double sided A3 menu with one half of it being alcohol and the other being food has a one or two column of alcohol. -.- was trying to decide what food and taking the top 5 food into consideration, we ordered i think 3 of the top 5 items. and on boy was we wrong to order.
food ordered: spam & carrot cake, truffle fries, smoked duck pizza, carbonara, cereal calamari.
(sorry, no photo to show, didn't take any.)
drinks ordered: ice tea, peach tea, cosmopolitan martini, and a mock tail
the first that came was spam & carrot cake. it's not spicy like it stated. but had too much oil on top of the chilli oil. and it's basically because luncheon meat itself is deep fried before mixing together with the carrot cake. I rate it 2.5/5 cause it had too much oil to my liking and not enough chili.
next was pizza. unlike it's rivalry - timber, i got to say i preferred timber duck pizza. both is thin crust pizza but to me, i think the focus for shuffle's version was at the cucumber instead of the duck meat which was quite little. every slice of pizza had a slice of cucumber. i don't mind if it was half the slide of the cucumber but it was a whole circle slice leh. it's too much for me. i only took a slice of the pizza. the pizza was 12" so i recommend it for sharing. hence i prefer timber pizza better. Rating: 2/5
next was carbonara. personally, i was looking forward to this dish cause ever since i tried the carbonara in Australia that authentic Italian restaurant, i never enjoy a lot of the carbonara that was found in Singapore. although it can't be comparable, i got to say i love this sauce. the herbs was intense. (Y) however, i think there was something wrong with the mushrooms, cause it just spoil the taste. Rating: 3.5/5 (the best dish of the night)
then came the truffle fries. we actually can't decide between truffle fries or cheese fries. i should have gone with the cheese fries. damn. but oh wells, the truffle fries at first taste was not bad. but as u eat on, it became too salty for any of our liking. i only took it to chew along with my cosmo. u know how salt is needed for martini. ;) the fries quantity is quite a lot for such place. Rating: 2.5/5
Lastly, the cereal calamari. since alicia don't take calamari cause it's chewy, this was not chewy at all. but in terms of the amount of cereal it used, it was too little, whereas the leaves was quite a bit. it doesn't really taste like calamari, so not bad for people who don't like to eat chewy calamari. (but seriously, want to eat calamari, doesn't everyone go for chewy ones?) Rating: 3/5
shall not reveal the story behind the live band, but seriously, HOW CAN A LIVE BAND NOT KNOW BEYONCE SONGS!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! that's why we left the bar.
and that's all for now. till next time. (cross fingers - i don't have to go on friday cause of the bad experience and food wasn't worth it. i rather go to it's rival - timber. better food, more worth it.)
Promotion on going: spend $150 above, using OCBC card, can get 10% discount.
caught up on all the episodes of wax and wane. :X guilty.
anyway, wanted to blog about yesterday experience at shuffle at albert king court hotel there.
overall, i got to say it depends on who u going with. why? cause it's based on that experience, i got to say if i take away the company, it's really die. :X out of 5, i give it 1.5 to 2.
Food: 2/5
Atmosphere: 1/5
Service: 4/5 (due to nobody or close to nobody)
Live band: 3/5 (and this is quite high despite the fact that we left early cause of the band.)
so anyway, i went with JAAY and that includes myself since i'm J. hehehe.
the cafe/restaurant/bistro bar is quite dim. we almost had to get our own candle out and lighted to eat. -.- so we requested to change place due to the area very dim. changed to a table away from the front of the band area. we were deciding on what food to order when 3/4 of the menu is alcohol. -.- i got to say the food is really limited. cause it's a double sided A3 menu with one half of it being alcohol and the other being food has a one or two column of alcohol. -.- was trying to decide what food and taking the top 5 food into consideration, we ordered i think 3 of the top 5 items. and on boy was we wrong to order.
food ordered: spam & carrot cake, truffle fries, smoked duck pizza, carbonara, cereal calamari.
(sorry, no photo to show, didn't take any.)
drinks ordered: ice tea, peach tea, cosmopolitan martini, and a mock tail
the first that came was spam & carrot cake. it's not spicy like it stated. but had too much oil on top of the chilli oil. and it's basically because luncheon meat itself is deep fried before mixing together with the carrot cake. I rate it 2.5/5 cause it had too much oil to my liking and not enough chili.
next was pizza. unlike it's rivalry - timber, i got to say i preferred timber duck pizza. both is thin crust pizza but to me, i think the focus for shuffle's version was at the cucumber instead of the duck meat which was quite little. every slice of pizza had a slice of cucumber. i don't mind if it was half the slide of the cucumber but it was a whole circle slice leh. it's too much for me. i only took a slice of the pizza. the pizza was 12" so i recommend it for sharing. hence i prefer timber pizza better. Rating: 2/5
next was carbonara. personally, i was looking forward to this dish cause ever since i tried the carbonara in Australia that authentic Italian restaurant, i never enjoy a lot of the carbonara that was found in Singapore. although it can't be comparable, i got to say i love this sauce. the herbs was intense. (Y) however, i think there was something wrong with the mushrooms, cause it just spoil the taste. Rating: 3.5/5 (the best dish of the night)
then came the truffle fries. we actually can't decide between truffle fries or cheese fries. i should have gone with the cheese fries. damn. but oh wells, the truffle fries at first taste was not bad. but as u eat on, it became too salty for any of our liking. i only took it to chew along with my cosmo. u know how salt is needed for martini. ;) the fries quantity is quite a lot for such place. Rating: 2.5/5
Lastly, the cereal calamari. since alicia don't take calamari cause it's chewy, this was not chewy at all. but in terms of the amount of cereal it used, it was too little, whereas the leaves was quite a bit. it doesn't really taste like calamari, so not bad for people who don't like to eat chewy calamari. (but seriously, want to eat calamari, doesn't everyone go for chewy ones?) Rating: 3/5
shall not reveal the story behind the live band, but seriously, HOW CAN A LIVE BAND NOT KNOW BEYONCE SONGS!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!! that's why we left the bar.
and that's all for now. till next time. (cross fingers - i don't have to go on friday cause of the bad experience and food wasn't worth it. i rather go to it's rival - timber. better food, more worth it.)
Promotion on going: spend $150 above, using OCBC card, can get 10% discount.
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