Cause i'm only human~

Much changes happened in my life, be it at work, or on me personally, I embraced it. Maybe, just Maybe the tarot cards predictions wasn't that far off wrong after all.
But I guess I'm still waiting for that one (or Maybe two) changes. N that is getting a job that I'm interested in. Or Maybe I should just be a salesgirl for the rest of my career. High pay, shitty hours, n lots n lots of human interactions that makes me loss faith in male species as a whole. Just a generalization thou I know there's a few special cases But I'm done searching. Just let it be. If it's meant to be, it will be. That's the funny thing about fate, n I suppose love. I don't deny I feel lonely at times because everywhere u turn, u see couples. Esp at airport. But what can I do? Just suck it up lor. I mean I'm human afterall. Yes, I still shitty miss him despite all That's done and over, But I'm just like any other Stupid girl. every human being needs love,because we are human. That's how we are created.
Work wise, mont blanc now is in a mess. I miss Andena (store internal joke), I miss Alex, I miss Glenna, I miss pork knuckles. Mont blanc really not the same anymore. I hope Andean will win his case,  I wish they didn't have to shuffle Kenneth to gm. I kinda of miss the time Where it's just the 3 of us suffering together. I don't mind the new team, I mean Roger is my ex colleague turn into now my sup, jeslyn always very blur n we have so much laughter together, firdaus is just been a bro as he always was by treating me like a guy and telling me which girl chio or which body part not right. -.- Joshua makes me afraid to interact with him lest he decided to punch me in the face and I'll be gone just like that. Makes me keep rushing myself to get out of here, not Cause of Joshua But Cause of the shitty mgmt.
I'm not going to clean up this Shit of a mess because Why should I? One thing to learn about this reality - always put ur own interest first. N Yes, That's y I sucks at work. Why? Because I'm always helping people instead of taking care of my own interest. My own personal target haven't hit, yet I just pass the sales on to my colleagues. Bravo Eh? All Cause they all have a responsibility - be it for family, be it for credit debts, be it for weddings, be it for housing and so on. Me? Only thing I'm taking care of is myself. Yes, I get the highest commission, But Where does it go to? Treating family for meals, buying them gifts, treating friends meals. That's how it goes. Any responsibility? Any burden? Nope.
I don't deny that I spent a lot. But it never seems to be on myself. So Why am I so foolish? Idk.
Haix. Sometimes I wonder Why I change so much. But I guess the most important thing is that I'm happy, comfortable with who I am. I am just glad people think of me as my age and who I once was, and will always be - the bubbly, crazy woman who always have fun and don't give a Fuck damn on how people think of me, guai lan piece of shitty human girl. 💁👏
Till next time for more update~ 😘
Xoxo,
J❤